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zelphyr
靑ぃ鳥
#

2001년 여름에 나는 유럽여행을 하고 있었고
그 이야기가 오갔던 장소는 아마도 로마였던 걸로 기억이 난다.
수차례 내가 얘기했었지만 그 유럽여행은 정말 배가 고팠고 때문에 우리는
걷다가 어딘가에 앉아서 쉬는 경우가 종종 있었다.
그러던 중에 우연히 광수생각의 작가가 만화로 유명해진 후 첫사랑과 만나서
지금의 부인과 아들을 버리고 이혼을 했다는 이야기가 나왔고
그 때까지 별 생각이 없었던 나는 더럭 화가 났다.
어떻게 그럴 수 있을까.



#

같이 여행을 하고 있던 친구중 한명은 나와 정 반대의 생각을 가지고 있었는데
그것은 '당연히 나라도 이혼했을 것'이라는 내용이었고
그는 '이것이 니가 나와 결정적으로 다른 점인 것 같아'
라고 말했다. 나 또한 그 얘기에 동의했다.



#

최근에 매우 재미있게 본 드라마 중에 靑ぃ鳥(파랑새)라는 작품이 있다.
홋카이도에서 오키나와까지 전 일본 로케를 통해 1년반의 시간을 통해 찍어냈기 때문에
그 당시부터도 많은 화제를 몰고 다녔던 드라마이고 배우들도
소위 '연기파'들이 대거 포진되어 있었던 드라마이다.



#

대강의 내용은 이렇다.
30살이 넘도록 어느 한적한 시골역의 역무원으로 일하고 있는 남자가 있다.
그의 아버지는 역장이고 역앞에는 음식점을 하고 오래전부터 그를 짝사랑하고 있는 소꿉친구가 있다.
그러던 어느날 지역 유지의 아들이 도쿄로부터 딸이 있는 젊고 예쁜 여자를 아내로 맞아들였다면서 데려온다.
그 와중에 남자와 그 유지의 아내가 사랑에 빠지게 된다.



#

여기서 부터 내용의 전개는 어떻게 보면 매우 뻔하다고 볼 수 있다.
다만 이 드라마가 재미있는 이유는 순간순간 녹아져 나오는 감정의 선들이
정말 괜찮은 영상들과 배우들의 연기와 다양하게 펼쳐지는 일본 전역의 배경들과 맞물리기 때문이다.
그리고 여자의 딸이 극중에서 단순한 감초가 아니라 매우 중요한 역할로
아역배우가 보여줄 수 있는 가장 적당한 선의 역할과 연기력으로 마지막까지도 드라마의 재미를
톡톡히 해주기 때문에 이 드라마는 좀 더 특별하다고 할 수 있다.



#

이러한 재미에도 내가 이 드라마에게 '이성적'으로 불편함을 느꼈던 이유는
인물의 구조적 관계를 참을 수 없었기 때문이다.



#

이건 뭔가 좀 아니라고 느꼈다.
알게모르게 이런식으로 내가 엄청나게 '보수적'이거나 '꽉 막힌'사람이라는걸 소스라치게 놀랄만큼 깨달아도
어쩔 수가 없다. 내가 아무리 나라고 해서 몸으로부터 느끼는 거부감을 어쩌지는 못하지 않겠는가.



#

그리고 대부분의 불륜 드라마에서는 어느정도 사회적으로 나같은 사람들에게 거부감을 느낄 부류의 인간들을 위해
조금 개연성(?)이랄까, '어쩔 수 없는 상황이었다'라는 식의 변명을 위해 남자 혹은 여자에게 환경적으로
압박받는 상황들을 만들어놓고는 해서 사실 더 속이 보인달까..그랬는데 이 드라마 또한 그렇다.
여자의 시아버지는 단지 여자를 동경에서 아들에게 돈을 주어 사오게 한 '비싼 장난감'에 불과한 존재로 여긴다.
또한 남자역시 자신의 어머니가 다른 남자와 만나서 도망을 간 과거를 지니고 있다.



#

남자와 여자가 만나서 사랑을 할 수 있다는 것에 대해서는 아무도 이상하게 생각하지 않는다.
그런데, 나는 개인적으로 '결혼'이라는 사회적 제도 안으로 개인이 편입된 이상 일정의 사회적 책임을 안고 가야한다고
생각하는 사람이다.
사회적 책임이라는건, 한 남자와 한 여자가 만나 함께 제도적 틀안으로의 편입되는 것에 동의했다면,
그들은 서로에 대해 최소한이 아닌 '최대한'의 신뢰를 줄 수 있어야 한다는 말이다.
누군가와 결혼하기로 한 순간은 매우 소중하고 신중해야할 순간이며 그 이후에 그 결정에 대해서 당연히 당사자들은
'자신감'을 가지고 있어야만 한다.



#

글을 쓰다가 잠시 상상을 해보았다.
사랑하는 한사람을 설정하고 그녀와 나는 결혼하기로 약속을 했다.
그 결혼 이후에 누군가를 만나서 사랑에 다시 빠진다면, 나는 그 결혼에 대해 되돌리기를 요구할까.



#

나로서는 무리다.
왜냐면 나는 내 감정에 완전히 솔직하게 그런식으로 살기에는 비겁한 인간이기 때문이다.
분명 그 때는 지금보다 훨씬 많은 것들에 대해서 어떤 의사결정을 하기전에
이리저리 자를 대고 재는 내자신이 지금으로서도 눈에 보인다.
사랑 하나로 모든것을 버린다. 최소한 지금으로부터 10년만 지나도 나에게는 무리다.



#

나에게는 그런 자신이 없어서 드라마나 소설속 주인공들이 그러는 것이 불편했는지도 모르겠다.
하지만 난 이렇게 자신이 없는 내가 창피하다거나 몹쓸 인간이라고 생각하지는 않는다.
소심하고, 비겁해지는 이유는 대신에 뭔가를 지키고 싶다는 마음이 있기 때문이다.



#

마지막으로 앙케-트.
다음 다섯장의 사진에서 남자주인공,여자주인공,남자주인공을 짝사랑하는 여자,여자주인공의 남편,그리고 여자주인공의 딸을
각각 맞춰봅시다. 단, 딸의 경우는 당시 아역이었으므로 최근 사진으로 했다는 점을 밝혀둡니다.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5.



#

상품? 글쎄..^^ 맞추는 사람이 나오면..
miniaxe 2004/07/29    Delete

역시 예상이 맞았구만...
흠..........
번호를 적을까 하다가 그냥 귀찮아져서 찾아봤더니 처음의 예상과 같음.. ^^
zelphyr 2004/07/30     

ㅎㅎㅎ 티가 확실히 좀 많이 나나요? -_-;
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